..SMALL>i like monkeys
the pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. i thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand. i decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so i bought 200 of them. i like monkeys.
i took my 200 monkeys home. i have a big car. i let one drive. his name was signund. he was retarded. in fact, none of them were really bright. they kept punching themselves in the genitals. i laughed. they punched me in the genitals. i stopped laughing.
i herded them into my room. they didn't adapt very well to their new environment. they would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. altough humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into the third hour.
two hours later, i found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. no apparent reason. they all just stort of dropped dead. kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. doggone cheap monkeys.
i didnt' know what to do. there were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. it looked like i had 200 throw rugs. i tried to flush one down the toilet. it didn't work. it got stuck. then i had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.
i tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. that worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. it started to smell real bad.
i had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and i didn't want to call the plumber..i was embarrassed.
i tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. unfortunately, there was only enough room for two at a time, so i had to change them every 30 seconds. i also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.
i tried to burn them, but little did i know that my bed was flammable. i had to extinguish the fire.
then i had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet; two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. the odor wasn't improving.
i became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and i really had to use the bathroom. so i went and severely beat one of the monkeys. i felt better.
i tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. i told him i had a wet one. he wouldn't take it either. i didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
i finally arrived at a solution. i gave them out as christmas gifts. my friends didn't quite know what to say. they pretended to like them, but i could tell they were lying. ingrates. so i punched them in the genitals.
i like monkeys.
Television
BATMAN, LEGION OF SUPER HEROS, HEROS, SOUTH PARK, MAD TV, FAMILY GUY, SMALLVILLE, SUPER NATRUAL
i really appreciate girls with nice hair. big supporter of procrastination. school is useless this year. hate planning, something always goes wrong. im pretty shallow, watch out. i judge based on looks until i actually talk to you. i like to play, dont take offense if im mean because im just kidding. i'll do just about anything to break the silence.
if you dont know me and you are interested in getting to know me(which i know you will be), drop me a line. if you are interesting enough, i just might write you back
Who I'd like to meet:
people
i like girls who:
can sing,
are athletic,
are cute,
i can have stimulating conversations with,
aren't idiots (dumb blond, etc..),
aren't "too nice",
have a great sense of humor,
can make me laugh,
are confident,
are intelligent,
are AWESOME,
can finish my list =]
youve already met the coolest of the awesomest!! :)
hahhaa omgee okiee what to sayy about this Lemur,
he's a type of guy who would say everything up front he's really honest and blunt about almost everything. which is a good thing in some weird kind of way because not a lot of people are like that. If he doesn't like you he would say it straight up :) lovee that about him!!!he's sooo hilarious always makes me laugh till my tummy hurts.he's fucking funny and always knows how to put a smile on my face without even trying:] he's sooo kool i miss him sooo much altho we're like 300 miles apart out friendship is still alive and thriving!!!!i love talking to him! i love you sooo much Lemur!? dont fuck around with him because he has feelings like you do! aigghhhtt peace lovee ciao. :) lovee your bunny - Tiff. Wang
wuts up kevin! how u been man? hey u guys got ur home field show coming up soon if i remember correctly right? when is it? i wanna see it bro hit me up.
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