I like personal spanking and long walks down amnesia lane. Crying under an old oak tree. Lamenting over lost meatballs. Old Smokey, all covered in cheese. Matzaball dunking. Transcriber conventions. NOT!!!! Golfing with as high a handicap possible. Stuffing my face with crackers and trying to breathe. Making number 2. Inappropriate comments directed at your mom. Trying to make movies with really lazy people. Motivating that hostile takeover. Geeky bosses. Egon Schiele, Feeling hurt again because it's worth it. Hammed Beef Tips with Fleen Au Jus.
Music
mozart operas, operas, belle & sebastian, tom waits, sigur ros, will oldham, norwegian nose flute, zamphyr master of the pan flute, your mom, modest mouse, the kind played by boxes you wind, beethoven, human wind turbines, badly drawn boy, car crashes, whale horns, whistle blowers, the shins, canine flatulence, desaparecidos, bright eyes, andrew bird, the sea and cake, yo la tengo, leonard cohen, bonnie prince billy, pavement, the mountain goats, galaxie 500, winger, poison, guided by voices, blonde redhead, boards of canada, built to spill, elvis costello, neutral milk hotel, flake music, more and more and on and on, arcade fire, heartless bastards, rilo kiley, your dad, the weakerthans, armpit flatulence.......
Movies
Goonies, Heavenly Creatures, the ones i make, harold and maude, big trouble in little china, in the mood for love, assmaster 38 - 4995, jackass the movie, caddyshack, garden state, debbie does dallas, dreamlife of angels, billy madison, Rocky VII Adrian's Revenge, a little movie called Cleopatra, Major League 1-3, most sports movies, Benji's Vendetta, Leprachaun 1 - 39, scratchy home movies, the big lebowski, amadeus, annie hall, sleeper, the sandlot, i'm a sucker for baseball movies, even the bad ones, oh man, so many more i'm sure.
Television
spongebob crotchlesspanties, the simpsons, jackass, scrubs, tough crowd, house md, daily show, mythbusters, freaks and geeks, kids in the hall, married with children, rosanne, campus ladies, the occasional gratuitously dramatic reality show like project loser or biggest runaway, dr. phil vs oprah vs mothra . . . . .
Books
I'm not much of a reader. Which I find awful. But I know they exist.
Heroes
Ron Jeremy. Proving that if he can do it, I can do it.
About me: about 5'7".
i am me. i'm fun. i'm cool. I wear glasses and sometimes pants. I walk on two feet. i want a tempurpedic mattress, but so expensive yet so comfy. i love my violin which still sounds awesome. i play golf even though i'm horrible. but i use it as an excuse to go for a walk. um, in-and-out burger is rad and affordable. i ran five miles straight today and felt fine afterwards. i get sixty dollar haircuts and don't feel guilty about it. a girl's always gotta look her best. i like sports highlights. beer is yummy, but wine is yummier. i like to cook, but i gotta get better cookware and cutlery. maybe i can fake a wedding and fake register somewhere and get all the loot for free. maybe not. all hipster doofuses should be gathered together and sent off to the new australia or just be jettisoned into space to breath their air in the egos,or survive on the "coolness" of their i spent 45 minutes on my "just woke up" hair. i am not as cynical as i am sarcastic. or is it, i'm not as sarcastic as i am cynical.
i think old people are funny and they don't even know it.
my front neighbors are gypsies from new york city. or so they say. but the grandfather threatened me and called me a chink and told me to get back on my richshaw. but i had to promptly inform him that my richshaw was in the shop and could i get a ride. he didn't get it. welcome to smell a i guess. what a city.
i like midnight snacks. but way past midnight. puppies with wet noses make me happy, because it makes them happy as well. my dog casper is 3000 miles away and i wonder if he thinks about me. i think he does. well at least that's what my dad tells me. i'm sure casper is happy that he can use all of my bed.
All I know is that this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds while he just STANDS there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with LIGHT coming out of his mouth!
i realize that this is very much like my profile on friendster, but i was tired and couldn't think of anything new about me.
here's something new. ask me about the time i exited a sedan like it was a coupe. it truly is a funny story.
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Who I'd like to meet: I'd like to meet the Michael Jackson. Dogs with wet noses. The inventor of Cheese Wiz and Jolt, both products made up an interesting night when I was 16. Don't ask. Or maybe ask. Perhaps it's an interesting story. People that make me excited. My next job. I guess the list goes on. More on that later.
Myspace didn't give me this as an option, but I'm here for serious friends and networking relationships.
Uncomplicated relationships.
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SOMERSET COUNTY ACTION ADVENTURE TEEEEEAMMM! Let's get diner food soon and pretend we're high school badasses cutting gym class. I'll rock the overalls and you wear your Pingry khakis. Straight UP!
