Keith Lowell Jensen
Female / Musical Comedy / Stand-Up
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Male
37 years old
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA
United States
Last Login: 11/6/2009
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Mood:
amorous
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Keith Lowell Jensen's Comedian Bio
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| Bio | I am The Atheist on The Coexist? Comedy Tour. Please come see us.
My film Why Lie I Need A Drink, a documentary on the myth of the affluent panhandler should be playing on a screen of some size in your area soon.
Watch for "The Atheist Survival Guide; A humorous guide to getting by in a God fearing world" coming soon. | | Website | RockAss.net | | Influences | Francois Fly, The Unknown Comic, Andy Kaufman,Woody Allen, Steve Martin, Lenny Bruce, Emo Phillips, Geeky Guy, Bob Newhart, All In The Family, The Simpsons, lots more. | | Members | Pestilence, Famine, War and Death | | TV Shows | Manswers
I was featured on Spike TV’s show Manswers. It was a segment on panhandling. Watch it here.
Moral Court
Patrick Skiffington and I sued each other over a Partridge Family Album, it was "A Bag Full of Hits" if you must know. Read all about it here.
Talk Soup
We made such fools of ourselves on Moral Court, they played a clip of us on Talk Soup.
Local Trash/Underground Sounds
And I hosted a cable access show when I was 15 called Local Trash. I had HUGE hair. I’ll try to get some clips up, it’s a riot. | | Films | In the Sean Penn film, The Assasination of Richard Nixon I can be seen being shoved by Penn as he runs aboard an airplane with a gun.
I've done lots of film work with Bob Moricz, including a music video for the band Xiu Xiu which was distributed as part of their last CD, all over the world. | | Albums | 
To The Moon... Live at Luna’s
Click here to buy it now at Amazon.com |
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Keith Lowell Jensen's Interests
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| General | 10 Reasons Why KLJ Rocks Ass
1. If Keith Lowell Jensen invented Kung-Fu it'd be called Keith-Fu. Though actually, if Kung-Fu didn't exist yet the Fu part would make no sense, so it'd probably be called Keith's Great Ass Kicking Technique.
2. Guns don't kill Keith Lowell Jensen, existential angst does, or Ulcerative Colitis does, or maybe the drugs that are prescribed to treat the Ulcerative Colitis do it, or maybe a gun after all but only if it gets to him soon, before that other stuff.
3. If Keith Lowell Jensen were a president he'd be Keith-adoor Roosevilt, or maybe John F. Keith-edy, but probably he'd keep his own name, because it's Keith Lowell Jensen, and that rocks.
4. Keith Lowell Jensen isn't the Lizard King, but he CAN do anything, or at least a great number of things, too many in fact to list in one post. He can a) Stand on his head. b) The robot c) Eat soup while watching television d) never mind, too many things to list. I told you.
5. If Keith Lowell Jensen were a rooster he'd say cock-a-doodle-death.
6. Terrorists have never attacked an American City after Keith Lowell Jensen visited it, except for New York and Oklahoma City, but in both cases it was a long time after Keith visited and they couldn't possibly had known he'd been there. The overwhelming majority of cities that Keith has visited have never been attacked by terrorists.
7. Keith Lowell Jensen is so straight that if he had sex with a man he still wouldn't be gay, the other guy would be a woman trapped in a dude's body. No, seriously.
8. The only reason you'd ever beat Keith Lowell Jensen at chess on the internet is if he was distracted by watching 15 second clips of amateur porno and even then you'd better be a fairly decent chess player, or the porn had better be above average porn. And it would be straight porn, because as I've made perfectly clear Keith Lowell Jensen aint gay!
8. Keith Lowell Jensen, who isn't gay, doesn't make mistakes in numbering. If you think he did, you'd better learn a new numbering system, or else just don't worry about it. Dang, it's really not a big deal. Get a life Mr. Mathematician.
9. Keith Lowell Jensen doesn't have to go to ten. He's not gonna let some dumb numbering gag cause him to write an extra joke. In fact he'll use it to cop out of the last joke. Ha ha. (Not Gay!!!)
| | Music | The Beach Boys, The Boredoms, Big Star and other bands, some not starting with the letter B. | | Movies | Hair Spray, Female Troubles, all John Waters' films.
Bucket of Blood, Weather Girl, Yojimbo, The Wild Bunch, Mars Attacks, Modern Times, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, The Jerk, Dead Man, Down By Law, Night Of The Living Dead, The Bad Seed, Akira, The Blues Brothers, The Great Dictator, Duck Soup, Zelig, Radio Days, Annie Hall, Cool Hand Luke. | | Television | All In The Family, The Simpsons, Futurama, Soap, The Muppet Show, Taxi, 1st season SNL, Faulty Towers, League Of Gentlemen, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Sanford and Son. | | Books | The Last Laugh by Phil Berger, Ham On Rye by Charles Bukowski, Narcicuss and Goldmund by Hesse, The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera, Without Feathers by Woody Allen, The Old Man and The Sea by Ernest Hemingway. | | Heroes |
Get this video and more at MySpace.com
Bill Gaines, John Waters, Harpo Marx, Andy Kaufman, Lenny Bruce, Michael Moore, Ghandi, MLK Jr, Iggy Stooge, Brian Wilson. Charlie Chaplin, Charles Shultz, Socrates. |
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Sacto, Downtown, ICBINC fans, California Horror Hosts, Cinema Insomnia, sacramento CreATiVe NeTwORk, Sacramento Music & Art Support Page, Jolly Rimmers Unite!, Sacramento Underground
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Keith Lowell Jensen's Details
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| Status: | Married | | Here for: | Friends | | Hometown: | Sacramento | | Religion: | Atheist | | Zodiac Sign: | Pisces | | Smoke / Drink: | No / No | | Children: | Someday |
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Keith Lowell Jensen's Latest Blog Entry
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Stand Up Comedy, Coffee, Idiots, I'm Just Saying...
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Footprints In The Sand
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Comedy Clip - Success High - Dyslexia
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Refuting Darwin's Theory of Evolution
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Kid In The Bar - by Keith Lowell Jensen
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